Anti-valentine, part 2

R: You know how on Valentine’s Day, restaurants are more expensive than normal?
Me: ….
R: Do you reckon the same’s true for prostitutes?

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Anti-valentine, part 1

Me: Hey, so, did you get any valentine’s cards this year?
R: Nah…
Me: Not even one from your mum?
R: No. I tried to get off with her last year.
Me: …
D: What is the world coming to when your own mum won’t put out?
Me: You’re sick.