2 weeks ago I was cycling along when my handlebars snapped in half. Time seemed to stop as I tried to figure out the hell was happening, and what I could do about it. Two thoughts immediately surfaced: 1) the ground is rising up to meet me, what the…; and 2) I have to find a way of not landing on my violin. Normally I would have tried to roll onto my back, but it just didn’t seem like an option as I had my violin on my back…
So, BOOM, I hit the ground. Actually I kind of skidded along, face down, bike on top of me. I came to a stop, and rather embarrassingly, burst into tears. A man ran across the road, and bless his heart, picked me and all of my stuff out of the road. I sat on the kerb looking at the blood pouring out of my knee and at my totally immobile and clearly fucked arm. And sobbed my eyes out. The lovely kind-hearted man persevered and got me to give him my keys and lock, and locked my bike up, and took me and all my stuff into a doctors surgery. The surgery receptionists initially tried to get rid of me, but realised I was just going to shed tears and blood everywhere whatever they did, so made me a cup of tea and let me see the doctor. He looked at my weird looking arm and sent me to hospital.
4 hours later and I was discharged from hospital with a broken elbow. I went back to hospital 2 days later to see the consultant and after a momentary panic where he thought my neck might be fractured, I was sent on my way with a very fetching (and really quite smart) sling and a note to come back in 3 weeks to see if it’s healing or if it needs pinning back together. So now I wait.
Waiting is boring. I am terribly impatient. I am even more impatient when I only have one arm. But like most things that hurt, everything gets better with time. I have made a list to summarise how I feel:
- It’s a minimally displaced radial head fracture, so there’s a 70% chance of it healing well and not needing surgery.
- It’s my left arm. I am right handed.
- It wasn’t rush hour.
- I wasn’t in town.
- The bus travelling behind me was far enough behind that it could swerve around me.
- There are some amazingly kind people in the world: special mention to the man who saved me and my lovely housemate.
- It was outside a doctors surgery!
- The doctor at the surgery I got taken to was pretty hot.
- Kings College Hospital was less inept than normal. In fact it seemed like all their x-ray machines were functioning, which is a first.
- The film crew from “24 hours in A&E” were there, so look out for me on TV!
- I’m getting good at doing things one handed. I’m sure this will be useful at a later date.
- The heroic saving of my violin broke my elbow. I’m yet to work out if it’s worth it.
- It’s a broken elbow, man! 4-6 weeks to heal, lots of physio, could be months before I can straighten my arm properly.
- My bike’s a bit fucked.
- Not being able to cycle is not helping me to train for this: http://www.justgiving.com/lambonabike or this http://www.justgiving.com/lfgss-chimneysweeps
- I have no idea when I’ll next be able to play my violin.
- I’m going to be on the telly LOOKING LIKE SHIT.
- My consultant leched on me a little, trying to chat me up via the medium of my x-rays. Not cool, just creepy.
Bring on my two wheeled return.