On first glance, running races and clubbing are worlds apart. One is the epitome of healthiness; the other, well…
But actually, they’re more similar than you’d think.
– Sweating – both activities leave you soaked, glistening like a hog on a roast.
– Gurning – it’s sometimes hard to keep the faces under control when clubbing, but deep into a half marathon my teeth are covered in energy gels and mouth gunk and, despite my best attempts when I see someone with a camera, I usually look like I’m being slowly electrocuted.
– Clutching a water bottle in your sweaty paw – see also, tripping over discarded water bottles.
– Neon – at least when you’re running it’s sometimes acceptable to wear sunglasses.
– Fairy wings – there’s always someone wearing fairy wings. Always.
– The state of the toilets – that scene from Trainspotting isn’t far off. And there’s never any loo roll.
– Queuing for the toilets – hope you don’t need that filthy portaloo any time soon.
– Vomit – a friend of mine once threw up all over the dance floor at the Stratford Rex, it was like the Victoria Falls. I’ve thrown up in bins more than once while out running.
– Making friends with people – recently I helped someone who’d fallen over and she put her arms around me and told me she loved me. I never saw her again.
– Meticulous planning for the next “big one” – it’s the highlight of your calendar, you plan it beforehand (what to wear?!) and reminisce for days afterwards, even though you can’t remember most of it.